Midnight.
Every year, I look at the NaNoWriMo page and say, “maybe this year” but it always ends up being “nah.” My sister once said (not to me!) that I didn’t pursue a career in public policy (the field of my MA) and stuck with teaching because I have no self-confidence. She’s not entirely wrong. A lot of it has to do with plain old comfort. I was comfortable in my teaching job, and the thought of going out and interviewing for new jobs was nerve-wracking. One of my biggest shortcomings is that I don’t push myself, very far or very hard. It’s easier to maintain the status quo. In this way, I eked my way to a college degree, to a graduate degree, survived my teaching job and so on.
“They” say 30 is a big year. It so happens that my 30th year coincided with being a mother and I think that was the bigger event. In becoming someone’s mother, I’ve found myself looking back at what I was before I was a mother. I see all the different paths my life could’ve taken had I chosen to push myself further and harder, but at the same time, would I have met my husband? Would I have my daughter? Maybe yes, maybe no. I’m not excusing myself for being a slacker but I also can’t spend my life looking backwards at what coulda, woulda, shoulda been.
So, midnight. I start a personal challenge. I will push myself to write 50,000 words by November 30th. I don’t know how hard or how far I’ll go but there it is. I’ll be composing my novel on a separate page on this blog, which I may or may not choose to publish, depends on how embarrassing I think it is…
[If you click the NaNoWriMo logo in my sidebar, it'll take you to my user page at NaNoWriMo. If you're signed up for this year, feel free to add me as a buddy, and I'll reciprocate.]
